Want to Improve Your Relationship? Do the Dishes Because You Really Want To

If you do something positive for your mate, does it matter why? The answer is yes, according to new research from University of Rochester research assistant professor Heather Patrick.

She will unveil a study at a Toronto conference later this month that shows both small sacrifices, like doing the dishes for your partner, and big ones, like moving across the country for a new job he or she really wants, mean more if you do them because you genuinely want to.

Patrick will be one of more than 300 researchers from 25 countries at the University of Toronto this weekend sharing their work within Self-Determination Theory, a groundbreaking psychological theory of human motivation developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, University of Rochester professors of Psychology.

To answer one of the most common conundrums of romantic relationships, Patrick asked 266 men and women in relationships to document either their own or their partner's pro-relationship behaviors (PRB) for two weeks. Pro-relationship behavior can be any sacrifice or accommodation made out of consideration for one's partner or one's relationship.

Patrick found that partners who engaged in PRB because they wanted to—not because they felt pressured or obligated to—were more satisfied in their relationships, more committed to them, and felt closer to their mates following PRB experiences.

But she also found that people who simply perceived that their partners engaged in PRB because they wanted to were also more satisfied and committed to their relationship after a partner's PRB.

Patrick says her research has practical applications. She sees it being used for individual and couples therapy. She says this new information gives couples and psychology professionals insight into why some relationships aren't fulfilling even when everything looks OK on the surface.

"It's important to understand what makes positive relationships positive and what might undermine positive experiences,'' Patrick said.

Along with Patrick, Ryan, who is a professor of psychology, psychiatry and education, and Deci, the Gowen Professor in the Social Sciences, a fourth Rochester researcher, Dr. Geoffrey Williams, associate professor of medicine at the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry, will present at the conference. He will unveil new findings that demonstrate patient involvement in a quit plan leads to smokers who are more motivated to quit because they genuinely want to, not because they are being nagged or bullied into kicking the habit. Williams said the method has also proved successful for patients managing diabetes, weight loss, and dental care.

Both Patrick's and Williams' research illustrates the crux of Self-Determination Theory: A self-motivated person derives more satisfaction in completing a given task, and is more likely to do it well. The research presented at the conference will explore motivation in human development, education, work, relationships, sports, health, medicine, virtual environments, psychotherapy, and cross-cultural applications.

Source: University of Rochester

Related stories:

Lori Drew cyberbullying case raises profile of 'terms of service' agreements
Next time you install a piece of software or visit a new Web site, pour yourself a cup of coffee and really dig into that arcane document labeled something along the lines of "terms of service." It's your chance to do something few have ever done.
The viability of hydrogen transportation markets: Chicken or egg?
Hydrogen may well be the new gasoline. But where's the nearest "gas" station where you can pull up and refuel your energy-efficient vehicle? Will hydrogen stations be strategically convenient—located on street corners and travel-stop locations around the globe?
Computer scientist aims for a better-networked military
Patrick Crowley, Ph.D., assistant professor of computer science and engineering at
Washington University in St. Louis, has received a one-year, $499,765 grant from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) for research titled "Revolutionizing Defense Communications with a Diversified Internet Infrastructure."
Choice is a Key Element in Success for Smokers Who Want to Quit
Smokers who have a say in how they quit are more likely to try kicking the habit and are more successful, according to new research at the University of Rochester.
Small Organisms, Great Proxies
The present and past compositions of communities of single-celled algae in several Canadian lakes and their relationship to the known climate record suggest that these organisms and the lakes they reside in are highly influenced by sun spot cycles, says a University of Arkansas researcher.
Insects that produce males from unfertilized eggs reveal a surprising cellular feat
Scientists have long known that the social insects in the order Hymenoptera--which includes ants, bees, and wasps--have an unusual mechanism for sex determination: Unfertilized eggs develop into males, while fertilized eggs become females. But the development of an unfertilized egg into an adult (called parthenogenesis) remains a mysterious process.
Scientists find missing link between the whale and its closest relative, the hippo
For those not yet convinced that hippos and whales are first cousins, a UC Berkeley researcher has the definitive proof.
A group of four-footed mammals that flourished worldwide for 40 million years and then died out in the ice ages is the missing link between the whale and its not-so-obvious nearest relative, the hippopotamus.
The conclusion by University of California, Berkeley, post-doctoral fellow Jean-Renaud Boisserie and his French colleagues finally puts to rest the long-standing notion that the hippo is actually related to the pig or to its close relative, the South American peccary. In doing so, the finding reconciles the fossil record with the 20-year-old claim that molecular evidence points to the whale as the closest relative of the hippo.
Researchers discover new enzyme in cancer growth
While studying the mechanics of blood clots, researchers at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center discovered a new enzyme that not only affects the blood, but seems to play a primary role in how cancer tumors expand and spread throughout the body. The research appeared in recent issues of the journal Blood and the Journal of Thrombosis and Haemostasis.

News discussion:

Common Sense in Medicine & Health news